'Uncategorized' Category
Beachy Complex Christmas Special
No surprise was expected on the Sunday before Christmas, not even to the moment of the people’s sudden 9:28am arrival time. Yet as the members slid into the pews, their eyes shot straight to the front of the church house. Hanging directly over the pulpit, just out of reach, was a piece of greenery. Active [...]
A New Parable
Note to discerning Beachys: I give the credit for this parable to a Discerning Beachy Reader, who Emailed a story for submission. After taking editorial liberties, I have offered it to the Beachy Complex Community for thier enjoyment. This post is a work of fiction, all resemblance to actual persons living or dead is entirely [...]
Beachy/Modern English Translation Guide
In that Beachys have develoepd a language that is unique from mainstream English, it has become important for Beachys, non-Beachys, and NMBs (those audacious souls who try to be Beachys but really aren’t) to take extra time to try to understand each other, so as to avoid personal offenses which seem to come more easily [...]
The HBB Returns
And it came to pass that the conscience of the HBB smote him sore, for he had left off posting. And he thought within himself, “Dost thou leave off posting simply because some people gripe about what thou sayest? Thou doest not well.” (Yet, he ceased not to post for that reason alone, for there [...]
C. Here Am I, There They Go (Apocryphal Beachy Saga)
This installment of the Apocryphal Beachy Saga is based on a similar story in 1 Sam King 2:12-36 And the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli: and the word of the Lord was precious in those days, as people’s personal devotions were only five minutes long, if that. And it came to pass [...]
A Beachy Fairy Tale Continued: The Long Awaited Sequel to the Goldilocks Tale
Six months passed at the Forest Amish Mennonite Church after Goldilocks had begun attending, and during those six months she started to change, because she desired to do what was right and all. So she began to wear dresses instead of pants and she stopped cutting her hair (except, of course, for trimming her split [...]
B. The Uncoolest of the Uncool (Apocryphal Beachy Saga)
Note: No specific individuals, groups, or churches are intended to be represented in this ongoing series. The story is purely conceptual with merely general representations. This installment of the Apocryphal Beachy Saga is based on a similar story in 1 Sam King 2:12-36 Now the sons of Bishop Eli were the sons of Sport and [...]
A. For this child I prayed (Apocryphal Beachy Saga)
This continuation of the Beachy Saga is brought to you by Sven Svendsen, and is taken from the passage in 1 Sam King 1-2:11 And in those days, there were ministers and deacons and traveling committees of bishops in the Land of the Beachys, and all Beachys did that which was right in their own [...]
Beachy Art Gallery: “Hooked on the Hanging Veil”
CLICK DRAWING TO SEE FULL SIZE In this revolutionary 21st century artistic rendering of the hanging veil, the sketch artist portrays this Anabaptist pop-culture icon in the vain of Andy Warhol but with the surrealist imagery of Salvador Dali, though the artist denies any “borrowed” material. But the approach is unique. While deragatory titles abound [...]
An Entirely True Story From the Life of the HBB
Note to Discerning Beachys: Everything in the story below is absolutely true. It occurred on May 19, 2008. I have a small scar on my right cheek which I will carry as a reminder of this event for the rest of my life. I thought that the Complex would be edified by this story, so [...]
