Miss Calvary Bible School 2010

Rising up to praise the inner beauty of our young ladies

Attention ladies! Who will be our virtuous woman this year? Do you have what it takes to compete in this year’s Calvary Bible School Inner Beauty Pageant? Do you shun the vanities of flirty and flaunty wifey preemies?

If so, please check the “Inner Beauty Pageant Contestant” box on your CBS application next to the Gospel Team auditions checkbox. Contestants will be judged on Proverbs 31 qualities, including:

-Ability to sew with flax and wool
-Delights in feeding hungry Beachy men
-Quilting skills
-Mouth of wisdom, kindness, smiles, and flatteries
-Gabs not endlessly on the phone, eatest not the idle breads of Facebook
-Competitive clean dorm award contestant
-Covering size reaches ear
-Respectful of father and fatherly-figures

The winner will be awarded the Golden Clarion and be personally congratulated by the past three principals of CBS. She will then be flown to the highly competitive 2010 Miss SMBI competition and the 2010 Miss Pinecraft-Beach Amish contest, representing all Beachy kind.

Being Miss Calvary Bible School 2010 has big responsibilities for the year, including appearnces at:
-Storage barn construction business ribbon cutting ceremonies.
-All important bishop ordinantions.
-The annual Beachy Amish Ministers’ Fellowship Meeting, in which you will have a 5 minute speech during the second business session to set at ease those tense, tense men.
-Major choir tour programs
-All three major service units to demonstrate faithful service to our beloved constituency Complex.
-Speech to the US Congress about the state of the Beachy complex in America today.
-A meeting immediately following with President Obama to discuss progress on wiping out poverty and starvation among Beachys.

Please don’t have too much Beachy humility to apply! You may just be that lucky little Miss.