Note to Discerning Beachys: I have long suspected that the influence of the Beachy church has spread far and wide throughout the ages. Recently, I became more certain of this fact when I found that Columbus attempted to gain funding for his sailing project in France before he attempted and gained it in Spain. Historians are unsure as to exactly why France failed to agree to help Columbus, but I suspect that it was due to Beachy influence, in the form of the famous Men’s Meeting. I suspect that the King of France called a Men’s Meeting to discuss Columbus’s proposal.  From my experience in attending meetings of this nature, I have been able to reconstruct exactly what happened.

 

King (after opening in prayer): Columbus has come to wanting us to fund an expedition of ships so that he can sail west in the hopes of reaching the East. Are there any thoughts from the brotherhood about this idea?

 

(Long Pause)

 

Jacques Cartier: Columbus, why do you consider it necessary to get to the East?

 

Columbus: Whoever can find a good route to the East will be able to make a huge profit through spices, silks and pearls. I believe that I can find a much quicker, faster, easier and better route by sailing West, and going around the world.

 

Archbishop of Notre Dame: So what you are saying is that you think that your idea will create the potential for more convenient trade routes. Why do we need more convenient trade routes? Aren’t the trade routes we have good enough?

 

Columbus: They’re good trade routes, but I think that this route will create faster, better trade routes that will allow France to prosper handsomely as a result.

 

Jean of Normandy: But Columbus, we already have trade routes to the East. For instance, we have the overland route through the Middle East. Why do we need other trade routes?

 

Columbus: Uhhh, because it would be quicker, faster, easier this way?

 

Archbishop of Notre Dame: But Columbus, we’ve always done it this way. If going through the Middle East was good enough for Grandpa’s generation, it ought to be good enough for us.

 

Columbus: But why is it that we can’t just try and see if this way doesn’t work better? If it doesn’t work, we can always try something else, or stay with the old way of doing it.

 

Archbishop of Notre Dame: That’s a problem that I’m beginning to see more and more these days. People just want to try things just to see what will happen. Instead of considering carefully the results of what you do, they just want to see what will happen. If we aren’t careful with this trend, the next thing you know, people are going to start nailing theses on church doors, just to see what will happen. And that’s something that I trust none of us want to see. We already know what will happen if we keep our current trade routes. We will make money at the same rate. The status quo will remain the same. But who knows what will happen if we get new trade routes?

 

Jacques Cartier: That’s another thing that concerns me. Where is this going to lead? That’s the question we need to be asking ourselves. Columbus, just suppose that something unforeseen would happen, let’s say that you’d discover a continent that no one had even known existed, what would you do?

 

Columbus: Well, since I was trying to go to India, I guess I could call it the West Indies.

 

Jacques Cartier: But what if it were inhabited by people? Suppose those people were primitive? Have you thought about that? Where would this thing lead? You don’t know that. Nobody does. So I feel that it’s unwise to do anything further until we know just exactly where it would lead.

 

Columbus: We can’t know everything that’s going to happen until we try it and see. I’m not asking to do anything drastic, like start a bunch of colonies, or enslave large ethnic groups of people and force them to mine gold for us. I only want to sail west in an attempt to get to the East. That’s ALL!

 

Archbishop of Notre Dame: Columbus, I sense that you are not being submissive to the feelings of the brotherhood. What you need to be doing is conforming. Don’t just be thinking about the way you want to see things done. You need to be willing to come under authority. What I want to see in this Kingdom is Leadership. That’s why we have a King in the first place. If he’s not comfortable with this plan, he shouldn’t even be calling a Men’s Meeting. He should just tell you plainly that he and the Queen as a Royal Leadership Team don’t feel clear about letting you go on this expedition. And that should settle it.

 

Bishop of Flanders: That raises another question. Is this something that the King really ought to have the authority to control? If Columbus thinks that he ought to be doing this, why should we have the authority to stop him. I think Columbus has a good idea, I’d be willing to stand behind him. But this issue is bigger than Columbus or his trip. We need to deal with a bigger issue. What exactly is the nature of the King’s authority? Can he just tell Columbus not to go, or should that be left up to Columbus’s individual conscience? I don’t see where the King has the authority to control other people like that.

 

Archbishop of Notre Dame: That isn’t what we want to be seeing in this Kingdom. Columbus, if you want to do something that this Kingdom isn’t comfortable with, why don’t you find some other Kingdom to be part of and get your support from them? We are seeing too much of this type of individualistic attitude in these days. What we need is leadership.

 

Jacques Cartier: Once again, I’m just not comfortable with where this all is going to lead. I think we might be opening a door that we won’t be able to close.

 

Archbishop of Notre Dame: That’s exactly what I’m saying. If we allow this, just this once, is it going to be a common thing to let people just go sailing off in any direction they want to, just because they think it might help develop another trade route. Is this a door we want to be opening? Is this a practice we want to condone? I trust that it isn’t. I feel that Columbus should be willing to submit to whatever the brotherhood decides.

 

Jean of Normandy: I suggest that we give Columbus some time to come up with some more concrete plans of just exactly what it is that he is planning to do on this trip, and come and submit them at the next Men’s Meeting.

 

King: Well, we appreciate everyone’s input this evening. We as a Royal Leadership Team don’t feel clear to make a decision just yet. So, since we haven’t come to a decision, let’s all think about this over the next month, and come back to discuss it at the next Men’s Meeting. That will give Columbus time to do some thinking about exactly what he hopes to achieve. Will that be suitable to you, Columbus?

 

Columbus: On the contrary, I think I’ll just take my idea to Spain.

 

King: (Closes with prayer)

 

(Everyone stands around in little groups with the people they agree with and discusses the proceedings, while glancing balefully at their detractors. After a while, they all go home and discuss it with their wives. Rinse. Repeat.)

 

Legal Notice: The persons portrayed in this post are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is due to the fact that I have attended enough Men’s Meetings to know what I am talking about.

 

Regards,

 

HBB