Realizing that it has been a long time since I posted, and even longer since I posted something lighthearted, I have set my inexorable quill to the scroll of blogging to once again attempt to bring some enjoyment to the lives of my friends and enemies in the blogosphere. (whatever that is)

There was a man named Joe Mast, who owned a construction business, named creatively, Mast Construction. Now, lest there be any doubt about it, Joe Mast was a good Beachy, at least at the time, and he was a hard worker, and wildly known for building very fine houses for wealthy clientele.

Now, Joe should have realized that something was a little funny when he took a job building a house for a man named Johnny “the Knife” Bazzarolli.  But being a good Beachy and not familiar with the darker side of society known as Organized Crime, he gamely took the job. He started to realize that there was something a little funny going on when Johnny “the Knife” gave him a suitcase filled with $100 bills and told him that some work needed to be done that hadn’t showed up on the blueprints.

And Joe found himself building a series of secret compartments and rooms and passageways all over the mansion. Upon the completion, he was handed another suitcase full of money and told that he hadn’t seen anything. And suddenly, it dawned on Joe, that Johnny “the Knife” was probably doing something illegal.

But when someone hands you a suitcase full of money, you don’t tend to ask a whole lot of questions.

A few days later, Joe recieved a phone call asking him to meet Johnny “the Knife” at his mansion.

Joe drove out to the estate and Johnny “the Knife” made him an offer.

“You see,” he said, “I am in the weapons trade. I smuggle illegal guns, explosives, ammunition and other contraband all over the country. Since you are a good Beachy, you would make an excellent front for me. I want you to help me. I will pay you $10,000 per shipment that you complete.”

Joe thought for a few seconds, and asked, “What’s the catch?”

“The catch,” said Johnny “the Knife” is that if you get caught, you go to prison for the rest of your life.”

Joe thought about it. “But, if I’m a Beachy, no one will ever suspect me.” he said. “I’m in!”

And for weeks, Joe used his business to cover for his illegal arms trafficking. He built himself a warehouse and stored his illegal goods in crates marked, “Construction Supplies. And all this time,  Mast Construction was doing a roaring business.

Then it happened.

Joe’s phone rang in the middle of the night. It was Johnny “the Knife.”  “You had best clean out your warehouse,” he said tensely. “Because, you are going to be raided.”

Joe panicked! What was he going to do? He had 200 crates of illegal guns, and explosives! If he was caught, he was going up the river!

Then he hit upon a plan. Mast Construction was pouring concrete not far from the warehouse. He made a few phone calls and then raced uptown to the warehouse where men in trenchcoats were loading crates into pickup trucks. They raced the trucks downtown and threw them into the trenches and then began to pour concrete over them. In a few hours, the job was done.

The next day, ATF agents stormed Joe’s house, warehouse and construction offices. They searched the places from top to bottom.

But they never were able to find the Weapons of Mast Construction!