The Beachy Bargain

And it came to pass that in the process of time that Isaac had had two sons, who were twins.  And he named them Jacob and Esau, but Jacob was called Checky, for he was an good Beachy boy. (Not the Holiness Beachy Boy, mind you, but a good Beachy none the less.) (Now there are those who might tell thee that the Holiness Beachy Boy is not a good Beachy, but that is an unconfirmed rumor and untrue.)

And Checky was an good Beachy, as thou shalt see, but Esau was an wild man.  For he wore such things as shekich shirts and carpenter pants, and he wore at times even printed T-shirts upon which were printed such outrageous things as “Born to Raise Barns.”  And the good Beachys didst look upon him in shock for he wast verily wild.  (He also owned an shirt which had printed upon it “Cody Nite Rodeo,” which he wore at times.)  (Just kidding, kimimela) : )

Now it came to pass that Esau was out in the fields hunting with his redneck ex-Amish buddies, whom drove trucks which appeared to be made entirely from chrome, and which had Massive Wheels and enough Lights to appear like as an Airport.  And upon the bug deflectors thereof were printed such things as “Cowboy Cadillac.” (Now I say not that these ex-Amish had joined the Charity People, for I know not whether they did, and what is more if they had joined the Charity Church, they may have driven large vans with multiple rust spots) (Now I say not that they would have but only that they may have if they would have but I say not that they did, for I know not, and there are those who say that I have never set foot in a Charity Church, which thing is not true)

And Esau had an long and tiring day hunting therewith.  And it came to pass that after the day was drawn to a close that Esau headed home, and behold Checky wast working at the stove, for he was an Keeper at Home, therefore his mother loved him.  And Checky cooked an pot of good chili soup and the smell thereof filled the house.

And Esau said unto Checky, Give me, I pray thee, an morsel or two of thine soup, for verily forsooth I art hungry, if thou gettest mine drift.

Now Checky, being a good Beachy, and knowing an opportunity when he sawst one said unto Esau. “Thou knowest good and well that cooking is not easy work, but requirest effort.  And thou knowest also that good Mennonite cooking selleth at a high premium down at the Farmer’s Market.  How dost thou then expectest me to givest thee mine good chili soup, what wilt thou payest?”

And Esau, who wast prone to greed said, I art so hungry I art about to dieth if I get no food, name thine price.

Then smiled Checky unto himself and he said unto him, Thou shalt give me all thine Garment of Praise CD’s.  (For being an Good Beachy, Checky loved a cappela music.)

And Esau, well nigh unto desperation spake saying, If thou wilt givest me thine chili soup now, I wilt give thee not only mine Garment of Praise CD’s, but thou mayest have mine Antrim Mennonite Choir CD’s and mine AHQ CD’s as well, on top of which will I give thee mine birthright.

And Checky, knowing that Esau had spoken in haste, said unto him, It is a deal.  And he went and gat the CD player, and behold the house was filled with the songs of “Come Get A Drink From the Well” and “We’ll Soon Be Done.”

Thus, Esau despised his Good Beachy heritage of a cappella music, and his birthright too, which would dearly cost him, as thou shalt see.

And now must yet another part of the Beachy Saga come to an end.  But the story shalt continue in yet another post.

Regards,

HBB