Since my post on the Biblical Method of pursuing, finding, being led to the proper Biblical Life Companion, also known as Help-meet, my mailbox has been deluged with letters from Discerning Beachys who would like me to answer a variety of questions on the subjects of 1) dating, 2) courtship, 3) betrothal, 4) homeschooling, and 5) Charity People.  Rather than try to answer each of these inquiries individually, I felt a Burden on my Heart for the Beachy Complex community, and believe that the readers of this blog could be Edified and Encouraged by this discussion.

I can hear some of you out there saying, ”But Dave, I know you.  You’re not married! You’re not even dating!  And what’s more, you’re only twenty-one.  How could you have the experience and wisdom necessary to give advice that might potentially affect impressionable young Beachys?”  To which I would respond, ”No, I am not married, nor am I even dating, but hey, neither is Bill Gothard and that’s never stopped him from giving advice that might potentially affect impressionable young Beachys, among others.  And as for being only 21, Josh Harris,  as you know unless you have just recently arrived from Mars, was only 19 when he wrote a best-selling book on dating/courtship, entitled I Kissed Dating Goodbye.  Having three more years of experience than did Josh Harris, I am surely qualified to do at least as well as he. Finally, I am Born and Raised Beachy, which is more than Bill Gothard or Josh Harris can say, therefore qualifying me to give more pertinent advice to young Beachys than either of them.

Having said all this, I will proceed into a question and answer format, dividing the questions into five categories as listed above.

Q. Dave, I know you.  You’re not married! You’re not even dating!  And what’s more, you’re only twenty-one.  How could you have the experience and wisdom necessary to give advice that might potentially affect impressionable young Beachys?

A. I already dealt with that, drop it.

Q. What is the difference between courtship and dating?

A. In order to understand the difference between these two similar words, you need to consult a dictionary, which will tell you that dating is social engagements that are arranged beforehand, whereas courtship is “wooing” someone.

Q. What does it mean to woo someone?

A. I haven’t the foggiest idea.  But I do remember a wedding I once attended, and in case you wonder, it was not a Beachy wedding, nor even Mennonite, and you can be sure of that because there was alcohol served, and things got a little wild, and…

Q. Did you…?

A. No, I didn’t drink any booze. But, as I was saying, some of the drunken individuals would at various intervals let out a very loud ”Wooooo.”  And so in that sense, I have probably been “wooed”, although that’s probably not what the dictionary means.

Q. So what does it mean?

A. I don’t know, go look it up yourself.

Q.  So exactly why should I court rather than date?

A. I didn’t say you should.

Q. Oh.

A. Although I will say that dating does have connotations of flirtiness while courtship brings mental images of judges and binding legal agreements and thus lends itself to more serious thoughts.

Q. Can you give some real life examples of activities more in line with dating than courting and vice versa?

A. I can’t so much give examples as Real Life Principles that will help you make that important distinction.  If you are doing things which are foolish and frivolous, than you are likely in the dating camp, whereas if you are doing things which lend themselves toward Serious conversation and Depth than you are probably courting.

Q. So would you say that someone who, while riding in the back seat of a speeding car, would throw artificial flowers out the window as he passed a certain girl’s house was acting in a frivolous manner?

A. That happened over six years ago, and I’ve matured a lot since then!

Q. What about betrothal? Is it a good idea?

A. No.

Q. Ever?

A. If you mean betrothal as engagement, than by all means in good time become engaged to the person you are dating/courting/sparking with. (Take your pick) But if you mean betrothal as in asking a girl’s father for permission to propose marriage to her, when you have hardly so much as spoken to the girl in your life, then absolutely not.

Q. Are there actually people who believe in such a thing?

A. There are.

Q. Oh dear.

A. Quite.

Q. Why do they believe in such a strange idea?

A. It has something to do with homeschooling.  Not all homeschooled people believe in betrothal, but nearly all betrothal advocates believe in homeschooling.  I think that many parents are trying to separate themselves and thier children from society, because of a lack of trust of anyone but themselves.

Q. Why do they do that?  Isn’t that kind of paranoid?

A. Ask a psychiatrist.

Q. Are all homeschoolers that way?

A. No.  There are those who homeschool as an alternative to sending thier children to a corrupt public school.  There are those who are well-educated, and believe that they can educate their children better themselves.  Sometimes they can.  The ones you have to look out for are those who see homeschool as a “way of life.”  Those will probably also be the ones who believe in betrothal.

Q. What about the Charity People?

A. What about them?

Q. Do they have any good points?

A. Yes.  But…

Q. But what?

A. So do the Mormons.

Q. Do the Charity People have anything to say on subjects besides dating?

A. The Charity People have something to say about everything.

Q. What do they say on the subject of salvation?

A. That depends on who you ask, but if you are a Mennonite or an Amish person, you are probably not saved.  Especially because if you’re Amish, why are you on the Internet?

Q. How do I have to be saved according to them?

A. Ask Ray Comfort.

Q. Are they all that way?

A. No, as in any group, there are those who are sincere, but many of their basic premises are off kilter.

Q. Can you give any other methods of finding your spouse illustrated in the Bible?

A. There’s always the story in Judges 21.  Perhaps this could work at the next fellowship meetings.

Thank you for your wonderful questions, and your support of this blogging ministry.  I hope that I have been at least as helpful as Bill Gothard.  Since this post is exceptionally long, I will now end it. 

Regards.

HBB