And it came to pass that after Noah had gotten off the Ark, that he started up his construction business again. For he remembered what had happened before the Flood, and how the Veal Business had gotten him into Debt, and he knew he couldn’t count on another Flood to destroy the records.
And on the side, he had a little vineyard and raised grapes. And it came to pass that when the grapes had ripened, that Noah decided to make some grape juice, and somehow, no one knows quite how, because everybody knows that no one back then made wine, as in alcoholic wine wine, because when the Bible says wine, it really means Welch’s Grape Juice, (yes, they had Welch’s back then) and not actually wine, but somehow Noah made wine, in the sense of modern wine, not Bible wine, which actually doesn’t mean wine wine, but rather Welch’s non-alcoholic grape juice wine. And Noah drank the wine wine and it had more of an effect on him then any amount of Welch’s could have, because he lay zonked out in the tent, in a complete state of, well, this is a family-friendly blog, so we will just say that Noah was clothed in much the same state as Adam was before Effie made him the shekich shirt.

And it came to pass that Noah’s youngest son, Ham (possibly named after the man in the Answers in Genesis DVD) walked into the tent and saw his dad there, and went and told his brothers, and they took a blanket and walked in backwards and covered up Noah.

And when Noah woke up from his long sleep brought on by the wine wine that nobody back then drank, he wasn’t very impressed, and he called a Member’s Meeting, and they passed a new Church Standard, about grapes and wine and Welch’s grape juice. And then they had a Men’s Meeting, and old Ham was Excommunicated for what he had done, and they reiterated their stand against DVD’s, even if they came from Answers in Genesis.

And the other two boys, Shem and Japheth kept the Beachy church going for a few years, until liberal trends came in, and they embarked on a Big Construction Project, that led to the Division of the Nations, and Beachy’s speaking English. (Because, up to this point, all the world had one tongue, and it was Pennsylvania Dutch.

So, in the next installment of the Beachy Saga, thou shalt hear of the Great Construction Project and the Great Language Swap Meet.

Until then.

HBB